I have been uncharacteristically calm this season.
Not that I don’t have my moments where I flip out… well for instance, like last night when Phoebe and I stayed up to decorate the tree for the third time because that is how many times it has fallen down and we have had to start ALLLLLL over…minus ten or twenty broken ornaments…and she came in the room, smiling and humming Rihanna songs with a ginormous glass of celebratory eggnog and then I heard her say (maybe even for the first time) “DAMMIT!” and she had spilled its entire contents of the eggnog on my laptop and on the couch and all over the floor and the rug and table and really there was NO where it did NOT go and I was flying around like a wild crazy psycho mean mommy bitch until I screamed and spun myself out of gas and into a heap on the floor with her crying in my lap and me saying I am sorry sorry I care about stupid things and the DE-slip covered couch now naked and my hands wrinkly from cleaning, the tree still bare, and “JULIA and JULIA” which we had just started to watch frozen with Meryl Streep watching the whole scene from the TV screen because I pushed pause when Phoebe said ‘dammit!” and did I mention that during the clean-up process we had heard a “SNAP!” come from the kitchen and we remembered in the same aha! moment that Daddy had set a mousetrap and even through it all, through all the crazy nonsense of the whole thing, there was this very little voice that was chuckling at the whole thing and saying…you DO know that none of this matters right? NONE of it.go have yourself a merry little christmas.
so we stayed up until one Am and finished the tree, Babar’s broken nose and all, and the eggnog and now today is a new day for which I am always eternally grateful, even if I am grumpy, because it is just another day to see how it turns out…who wins who loses…and who survives.
so, go have yourselves a merry little something…