TWO WEEKS FROM NOW MY YOUNGEST WILL START HIGH SCHOOL WHERE
MY DAUGHTER WILL BEGIN HER SENIOR YEAR
AND THEIR BIG BROTHER…….
LEAVES FOR COLLEGE….
I was shopping at one of those outlets in Maine where everything is supposed to be a great deal but really it isn’t and yet you buy STUFF cause it’s vacation and money spends differently on vacation. Anyway, I had 10 pair of spiffy new boxers picked out for Tate because without a brother to steal boxers from…he might run out…The spring in my step which usually comes from saving a buck just wasn’t happening and after waiting a few minutes in line…I put down the boxers and left…and then…I cried. What is wrong with me???
Up to this point my philosophical approach to this transition has worked, I have just plugged away knowing everything is in place and as it should be. Never before have the tears had no logical source, yet they just keep coming…not big racking sobs…but a lump in my throat that won’t go away. I refuse, REFUSE to mope or make this anything sad or bad or “the end of an era-ish”…I want every inch to be a great thing for Tate who has earned every ounce of the JOY and anticipation he experiences. And I TOO AM excited for him, thinking about his College Freshman year and all the “NEW” everythings….the possibilities….his future.
But my heart says …”TILT. System overload…cannot compute…what the “F”!!!!”
I remember being in college and having a particularly rough patch. I thought I had a handle on things and called my Dad, then proceeded to break down as soon as I heard his voice.
“What’s going on…”He asked. His voice alone was like a hug. His words of wisdom were a comfort…
Not there yet, I sputtered…. “It’s just…it is ALL just TOO MUCH!”
He replied…”Of course it is. Problems can feel very overwhelming and insurmountable…. Life can change on a dime. But RIGHT NOW…. this very moment ….all YOU NEED to do….
is the NEXT thing.”
So, THAT is the approach I will take here. I will heed my Dad’s time-worn advice…and I will do the NEXT THING…kayak in the lake, visit with cousins, snuggle with my pups, shop for boxers, and towels and band-aids, and whatever comes NEXT. Because the WHOLE of it does not compute. But I can always do THE NEXT THING.
Great advice. It’s a little like “one foot in front of the other.” Just keep pressing on, a little at a time, having faith that it will come together.
Great pictures of your son and pup, also! Really great.
Thank you Linda! xo
Sweet post. I think part of the experience is meant to be the lump in the throat, the unexpected tears, the last sweet brushes. Thirty years later I can recall the feelings of separation, the quiet house, the need to hear his voice all in equal measure to the thrill at his new experiences, my excitement for him. It is a very special time in your life and in his and you just have to put it on and wear it – and be happy to have that opportunity. Will be thinking of you and Bean and Tate – actually your whole family because it will be adjustments all around.
Thank you Betty. XO
Thank you, I needed that! Watching your child prepare to leave for college is a happy and scary time…I can do the next thing!
WE can do this!!! xo
Beautiful Post Lesli, and yes we just have to do the next thing. Life takes care of itself. Love to you my friend. I remember when my oldest went away, I cried all the way back from Auburn. I worried I had not taught he everything he needed to know to be on his own but he figured it out. Oxox
Thank you Lisa….hugs xo
your post made me cry….and I don’t have son leaving for college….thank you for all that you write I love your blog