my old country house

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

The ONE THING that each and every one of us has in common – is that we all have a MOM.

Someone, once upon a time carried us inside their bodies and then delivered us to the world.

From there – life happened – we grew – sometimes without our Moms – many of us have become Mother’s ourselves – and many of us have lost our Mother’s after we have grown – but we all started out the same way. Somehow I think that should on some level unify us – but we all know that this is not the case. Still, I like to believe that LOVE can conquer so much and that, while “MOTHER’SDAY” , like so much else – is JUST commercialized silliness

I THINK THAT taking a moment to HONOR MOM’s is never a bad idea.

MY MOM

My Mom and my brother Ford…notice the Ciggy in my Mom’s hand
and the bandaid on Ford’s toe.

………………………………………..

THE DAY I BECAME A MOM
When I had my firstborn child…
I vividly remember thinking…
“OMG I had NO idea what being BUSY was before I had a BABY!!!
And I even took care of newborn babies as a Nurse!”
                                                              Then, when I had my Second child… I thought…
“I cannot believe I thought it was HARD with ONE baby…!!!
Parenting one perfect little baby was a cake walk compared to juggling babies!”
A few years later, I had my Third baby…
THREE under FOUR…
 ” TWO was a breeze!!!
… two parents, two babies…
now I have an odd number and not enough hands….
 THIS is HARD!”
TATE AND PHOEBE MEET COOPER FOR THE FIRST TIME. WE TOLD THE NURSES TO PUT HIS CART NEAR THE WINDOW AND TO LET PHOEBE AND TATE “CHOOSE” HIM…THANK GOODNESS THEY PICKED THE RIGHT BABY!
Then  the babies ventured into the world…
Preschool…
and sometimes tiny hearts got broken when
feelings got hurt at school…
and I sighed…
“It was so easy when all I had to do was snuggle them,
…pop them on my hip, or on a boob
or kiss their boo boos to make it all better.”
PHOEBES FIRST DAY OF FIRST GRADE AND COOPERS FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN
And then they started BIG school and they would be gone ALL day
and I would wonder why I still could not EVER
 get caught up…even with them gone…
….their rooms, my work, their stuff,  their appetites and hobbies
…kept me running even when they were nowhere near me.
…and I thought
” it was SO easy when they were just in the next room,
and all they wanted was a juice box and to play with some legos.”
And then…
I had a teenager…
and I thought.
“You are Not a Mother, NOT a REAL mother,
until for even one fleeting part of a second, you really do not like your child very much.   You wonder how everyone else looks  like they are managing this passage so much better than you are and you stop talking to your friends because it is not as much fun to talk about your kids now… what they do and say is not always so cute…or even repeatable…
You wonder…”What has become of me and my precious baby.”
You get better at it,
and you start to see it for what it is…which is NOT about YOU…it is not easy to grow-up …
…. for any of us
 ….and then you have a moment
or a day
or even a forever,
of living with a person,
who Is actually WHO YOU want to be when YOU grow up.
….Poised and smart and funny and kind and
Passionate
 about life and whatever it is they are in LOVE with.
You GET IT! You see it.
TATE PHOEBE AND COOPER – MY THREE AMIGOS
 …….and ……..
PANIC sets in … you glance at the clock…

and realize that while you have rushed and cleaned and disciplined and watched from the bleachers – set  curfews and watched the clock ….

and made chore charts and Birthday cupcakes….
….while you have tried to finish a sentence or a book or a thought…

worked and laughed and cried – while you have been so VERY BUSY –

THEY have hatched and are peeking over the edge of the nest, ready to jump, ready to GO!

and you simultaneously go through all the 5 or was it 7? steps of grief and promise to pay attention MORE – if it would all just SLOW down long enough for you to commit to memory every inch of who they have become.
Or make a hologram of them.
…and you let go…you let them be exactly who you made them to be…
…and if you are patient and just have a little faith….
They come back…..
 

…and for a day…or a summer…you get to do it all over again…only this time – you know a little better –

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

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