old country house blog

MOMMY BLOGGERS AND TEENS

I have been singing the praises of a Blog I recently discovered
called
GROWN AND FLOWN.
IN a nutshell, it is a blog to which a group of writers
contribute essays which reflect on parenting; and in particular the stage of parenting that I know I personally have an enormous amount denial about…the part where they grow up .
A recent post
really resonated with me.
When I had my firstborn child…
I vividly remember thinking…
“OMG I had NO idea what being BUSY was before I had a BABY!!!
And I even took care of newborn babies as a Nurse!”

back in the early days…When it took two and a bad hair clip…to change a diaper…

Then when I had my Second child… and I thought…

“I cannot believe I thought it was HARD with ONE baby…!!!
Parenting one perfect little baby was a cake walk compared to juggling 2 babies!”

 

A few years later, I had my Third baby…
THREE under FOUR…
 ” TWO was a breeze!!!
… two parents, two babies…
now I have an odd number and not enough hands….
 THIS is HARD!”

Then  the babies ventured into the world…
Preschool…
and sometimes tiny hearts got broken when
feelings got hurt at school…
and I sighed…
“It was so easy when all I had to do was snuggle them,
…pop them on my hip, or on a boob
or kiss their boo boos to make it all better.”
And then they started BIG school and they would be gone ALL day
and I would wonder why I still could not EVER
 get caught up…even with them gone…
….their rooms, my work, their stuff,  their appetites and hobbies
…kept me running even when they were nowhere near me.
…and I thought
” it was SO easy when they were just in the next room,
and all they wanted was a juice box and to play with some legos.”

 

And then…I had a teenager…and I thought.
“You are Not a Mother, NOT a REAL mother,
until for even one fleeting portion of a second, you really do not like your child very much.   You wonder how everyone else looks  like they are managing this passage so much better than you are and you stop talking to your friends because it is not as much fun to talk about your kids now… what they do and say is not always so cute…or even repeatable…
You wonder…”What has become of me and my precious baby.”

 

You get better at it,
and you start to see it for what it is…which is NOT about YOU and then you have a moment or a day or even a forever, of living with a person,
who Is actually WHO YOU want to be when YOU grow up.
Poised and smart and funny and kind and Passionate
 about life and whatever it is they are in LOVE with.
You GET IT! You see it.
…….and ……..

 

 PANIC sets in when you glance at the clock and realize that while you have been rushing and cleaning and scolding and making chore charts and Birthday cupcakes….
while you have been trying to finish a sentence or a book or a thought…
THEY have hatched and are peeking over the edge of the nest, ready to jump, ready to GO!
and you simultaneously go through all the the 5 or was it 7? steps of grief and promise to pay attention if it would all just SLOW down long enough for you to commit to memory every inch of who they have become.
Or make a hologram of them.
This is where I am…
….and I realize that every inch of the journey is important..
.and that you do not know what you do not know and THAT is a blessing.
No need to read ahead.
Be where you ARE
Don’t jump ahead…
Love the baby front of you.
The baby that lives with YOU.
NOW.
because
EVERYONE EVERYONE
grows up.

 

xo
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11 thoughts on “MOMMY BLOGGERS AND TEENS

  1. Amen. Well said Lesli.
    I was just thinking for the 100th or maybe it was the millionth time the other day that I miss the toddler years when it was all physical, when I knew exactly how to fix what was wrong.

    1. AH yes, I do the same thing….and then I remember how hard I had to hold their hands to keep them from running in the street, or eating poisons or the dog food…memory is a funny thing. But teh thing I miss the absolute most is the snuggles…oh the yummy snuggles…

  2. One reason I follow you is because you’re a bit more seasoned. My SIX babes are all grown, but even then parenting never ends. I still haven’t figured it all out. Nice thing about grown kids is though I miss their little selves I love the people they’ve become.

    1. Cathy, You are the best! and I agree, it is ALL wonderful, and I adore my big kids like I never dreamed possible. In fact, I am really loving teenagers in general, they are really pretty hysterical…when they are in a “good” place, and when they are not…I just go paint a dog painting and let them be….xoxo

  3. LOVE THIS. What a beautiful essay, photo essay of motherhood. Truly gorgeous. I too have three and they are born within four years. Every word you said was my life. Wish it were possible, just for a few min, to revisit some of those days that seemed overwhelming, now that I know that they will be fine. Ahhhh, not to be. I am flattered beyond words that you read us.

    Lisa

  4. Hi Lesli, your little/big ones look so adorable and sure of themselves. I can not relate specifically, yet that must feel so amazing. As I have passed the “age of motherhood” and the opportunity never presented, I figure motherhood is not an experience I was meant to have, yet of course we were all kids ourselves many years ago (with just a different perspective lol). Looking back, my parents were very hands-off with my brother and me, like we were inconvenient pets or something? Your children are so fortunate to have a mom with such a lovely and grounded spirit, and no doubt the loving influences of your parents will carry on through them. xox

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