ONE YEAR AGO

Today

my sister-in-law Maura Died. She was 37 years old.

….the world changed irrevocably  and impossibly that day…in short…the world, my world without Maura is just plain strange. I don’t think I will ever find complete peace on any level with her passing the way some people do, when someone amazing dies, “the skies have a brighter star”…and such. I just miss her too much.  And I miss all the passages that were coming…that we were supposed to share…kids growing up…going off to college…Ellie starting school..the final season of Mad Men..weddings and family vacations…husbands that are brothers…hellos and goodbyes…

what Maura would say is “Be happy for what you DID have…not what you did not get.”

Life, without apology has gone on, blazing on…faster than ever…and here we are…and we are Happy…life is okay…Good even…one year to the day later..Tate is applying to colleges, Phoebe is driving, Cooper is 6 inches taller, Ellie is in kindergarten…and Maura’s sister had twins…a boy and a girl…Rory and Ryan…LIFE  – goes on and on…and we celebrate that in her short time on earth…WE knew Maura…we knew that raspy voice, that big heart,  that life of the party…defender of and Ellie and Jason and friends and family and fun …we knew her and we loved her and we are better because of her. And always will be…one year…ten years…we will always be better for having loved Maura.

even if we always will miss her.

we are better.

my brother-in-law Jason shared a drawing Ellie did recently…a self portrait…

we are good.