old country house blog


Sometimes I feel incredibly 
small and powerless.

I see all there is around me…
all of the things that are falling apart…
and I wonder how I got here?
and ONCE I got here…
why I stayed?

This economy has changed so many things about the ways we live.
and I believe that it is partially responsible for the 
BOON of DIY everything that exists now… at a level
my generation has never before experienced.
 My Old Country House has been for sale and on the market
two times since moving here 8 years ago.
But our house did not sell, and we lost out on the newer
younger homes ..
and here, we still sit.
And I have had days where I feel so trapped…
and overwhelmed.
But I hate that feeling, and life is too short

….and so I have just rolled up my sleeves and tried to make the best of it.
fix what I can…
….and paint a lot of paintings so I can pay someone
to fix what I can’t.

If the economy gets better I wonder, will we all go back to our old ways?
will we run?
Or have we learned something?
That perfect is not all it cracked up to be.
That there is immense satisfaction and joy that comes from
having done some thing yourself.
Have done something MY self.
With our children, we try to encourage their independence and praise them
for their successes every day.
But do we model it?
Do we show “stick -to -it -tive -ness”
or do we run?
and when is it time…
to call it quits?
..let it go…just let it go…
or is there ever a time…?

Is everything repairable?
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8 thoughts on “THE BOTTOMLESS PIT…of love

  1. We have an old home and I completely understand. I am a retired senior citizen and the economy has totally put a hurt on our budget…thankfully I am still in good health and do most of the painting and etc.

    Good luck to you and your family! Your paintings are wonderful!

    1. Old Homes are an entity all their own Mary…aren’t they…but it seems like just as mine is giving me a huge cramp…I notice something amazing..that reminds me of why we are here…nothing is perfect…and even a bright shiny new home…has its issues…what is that saying? about the other man’s grass…?

  2. what happened to the ceiling? Yikes! You’re right, life is too short. If you were in another house, there would be other problems/issues. They are always there and they are there for a reason….we don’t always know what those reasons are but they are there. Enjoy your house, I think it is beautiful!

  3. I enjoy your blog and as a member of the long-term unemployed I hear and understand your frustration. I have had to be resourceful and I too have felt overwhelmed. On the bright side you can bring beauty into your life with your paintings and that itself is priceless. I love your home!

  4. This post hit home .Just this weekend as my hubby and I were starting a project hubby said “I am over this house ,we should move.” Our home is from 1898 and lets just say it has issues!!!! The house is not level at all ,but we have been putting in a lot of blood,sweat ,and tears into this house.I love what we have done but my dream house would have a wrap around porch,more bedrooms,bathrooms,etc. (I still dream of a 100+ year home so projects would be in our future,LOL) I reminded him our town just lowered everyone’s property values (second year in a row) so we are stuck here for awhile. I love what you have done with your home and just when I feel down about mine I thank the universe that we have one!!! Blessings,Sara

  5. Your house is beautiful and so are your paintings and your approach to life. I must say, however, that your house is what many would aspire to, not something to make the best of. I grew up in poverty and never owned anything just because it was beautiful. I guess I never knew those “old ways” that you speak of, but only see your home and its improvement as something glorious and worthy of appreciation.

  6. Thank You “anonymous” for the much needed Reality Check. And I do know that I have a “Dream home” as well as a dream life. It is the life I dreamed of, when I could not pay the rent and thought I might never have someone to share my life with…or even life TO share. The things that get me down are the broken parts..the holes in the walls (strategically hidden) the porch falling off…but you are so right it is something glorious!!! Thank youxoxoxo

    and next time…tell me who you are!!!

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