I have put off writing this post for a few reasons.
a Little denial maybe.
… Superstitious – for sure.
But, yeah, mostly Denial.
Thing is – we’ve already moved. Nothing of ours is still in the house, we rented it after the sale fell through – and I’ve not stepped foot inside since last December…
…but such a big part of my life – and MOST of my children’s lives – took place
in My Old Country House over the last 18 years.
We moved there on April 12, 2004.
But here goes –
We sold our house
we closed today.
The sale was almost anticlimactic – The house was not on the market – we were renting to lovely people. A family that saw the house last year and loved it resurfaced and, well, that was that.
We joke that if we’d known it could be this easy and painless – we would have moved and rented years ago. But in retrospect – it wasn’t easy and nothing this big is ever painless . The takeaway lesson here was – every ounce of BS and ALL the jumping through hoops and cleaning and the showings to people that nit-picked over dumb stuff and were afraid of an “old house” –
it was ALL worth it because the perfect family has become only the 3rd family in 150 years to live in
My Old Country House
I’d envisioned myself writing nostalgic posts, recapturing the moments, revisiting old makeovers and counting down the days. But in reality – I think I’ve moved on.
It was time to move. My daughter put it perfectly when she said,
“Staying here would be like if they made a 10th season of ‘The Office’ ” .
(although I actually just heard that another season might be in the works) – nonetheless – it will never be the same.
I miss every inch of that house – but mostly I miss those days. The busy, crazy, can’t figure out where the time went – days. Raising kids. Making friends, Losing parents. Losing my sister in law. Losing pets. Loss and Life.
The loss though, as much as it kicked my ass – fueled me, made me want more, do more, be more creative and to be better, to connect on a much bigger level and that is what this blog did. I made life long friends via this house and through this blog – my eyes were opened to parts of life I knew nothing about.
It feels like a different lifetime ago.
So much is different now.
I am so grateful for the 18 years in My Old Country House. And that I recorded chapters of our time there – here. Truthfully, I think the thing I miss most right now – is writing – the act of writing it down – the accountability, talking on paper in words and communicating what it feels like to meander through life.
I do not plan on shutting down this blog. Heck no! And if we buy the house we are currently renting, or any house for that matter – maybe I will pick up where I left off – or maybe I will talk about Art and Life and Aging and whatever pops into my head.
Yeah – me and Ellen, we are making some bigs changes, closing some chapters,
but like Ellen, I won’t ever be that far away.