my old country house


This is my 8th Christmas with My Old Country House

8 years!

Every Christmas for the last 5 years I have shared my wish for Christmas. Not surprising – it is always the same.

This will be the last Christmas where I have a child living at home/ So very Much is going to change in 2019 – that I can only stay firmly rooted in the present – NOW – knowing that I will know what to do when I get there and the last thing I want to do is rush the process by agonizing over the changes ahead. Its life.

Deja Vu –

Here we are again – the Red and green bins are hauled out again (did I not just pack them away?) , the tree is up, the cards are  ordered – but have yet to arrive – and this year – for the very first time in 25 years – I did a “New Years” card. I am less ready than I ever have been – life has run the show.

the kids as babes
the kids as babes

It was so easy, when they were so small and their hands, little fists really, tucked easily into mine like a puzzle piece and I could fill a shopping cart for $100, wrap it up, or not wrap it up… and Christmas would be done. Sometimes they preferred the boxes and the candy canes…but I could rest assured that smiles would erupt Christmas morning…amid the squeals and racket…yes, some tears and it would feel…so very…

…so very Christmassy.

Those magical early years – when everyone believed…and thrills were cheap…are behind me now and any attempts to recapture the first glass of wine fresh buzz …are fruitless…the nauseating over-indulgence, over shopping  is followed by a sharp dip in spirits and I cannot wait to just pack it away and get back to Real life.

This year, all I want to give my children for Christmas is Peace. On Earth. In their Hearts. In their lives. In the world. And more like the Wizard in Oz than the man in the red flannel suit…I want to give them keys to unlock the things they already have…

I want to give my First born son Faith that he is ready to graduate College in just 5 short months, his dreams have come true (He got his DREAM job!!!) and he is ready to start his new life in the Big Apple come Sept 2019!!!  (I made the exact same journey all those MANY years ago – fresh out of college) – his dreams have materialized differently that he imagined…the new dreams… they fit So MUCH better. He is on his way.


I want to give my only daughter middle child, keeper of the peace… College Junior Acceptance..of the messes of life. That spontaneous plans can be just as fun. … and wish her safe travels as she spends Spring semester in Australia. Their laid back approach to life is exactly what her college-weary body  needs. She has the adventures of a lifetime ahead of her this year!!! And I have to figure out how to survive 5 months with her so far away .

Then, in June, I’m gonna go get her!!!


I want to give my High School Senior, my brilliant and  thoughtful third born son – Hope-  that things are going to work out just the way they are supposed to – that he WILL go to college SOMEWHERE…and that this time next year he will be a seasoned , exhausted college Freshman – studying engineering .

Me and my boy

Peace. Faith. Acceptance. Hope

..and for myself – PATIENCE – the next chapter will be here soon enough. My children are ready to fly and I am ready to FLY – to travel and for my husband and I to pick up where we left on when we boarded this roller-coaster 22 years ago. I can’t wait to go places and NOT know what is on the other side. I am so excited  – I almost can’t sleep!

 I would break the bank if I could buy these things. But then, what fun would that be? Life is precious and it is meant to be lived. Not bought. But Experienced…. Life is a pearl necklace of days…infinitely better when LIVED and strung together to add up to something beautiful and unique.

All I can really give them, and ALL they really NEED is my LOVE…and that I have in abundance.


so I guess my shopping is done? right.


10 thoughts on “ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

  1. What a fabulous post….you have a beautiful family and by now you know to savor ALL the moments. Every second! Merry! Merry!

  2. Great post – I love “keeping up with your family” and I cannot believe these milestones! Didn’t Tate just start UVA?! And I so envy Phoebe her semester abroad in Australia – the country I most want to visit!!! And Cooper in his senior year – no way!?! You are at that sweet spot in life and clearly you know it so enjoy, savor, and keep what is most important at the forefront. Merry Christmas!

    1. aww Betty – you are like an old friend by now – always there with a kind and encouraging word and I know that you have stayed along for this crazy ride. happy Holidays to you xo

  3. Beautiful family, Merry Christmas! I love that you and your daughter got matching tattoos. My 5 daughters and I all got small hearts on the same spot!

  4. As someone who is feeling particularly overwhelmed this Christmas (we have our first college senior in the throws of the application process), your thoughts help me put the season in perspective. All of the gifts under the tree (and the stress of getting them there) is no substitute for a mother’s love for her children. Thank you for reminding me of that and for reminding me to slow down, to not worry if everything is “perfect” and to enjoy each moment with them as it comes. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  5. Lesli-I have chills and tears all at the same time. I, too, want the same for my children and I want all of the above for myself too! Thank you for your beautiful words….my shoulders just lowered a few inches. My senior has heard from all 5 colleges now we just need to weight the pros/cons/budget …. that can wait for the New Year! We are off to Woodstock, VT for a quick break over New Year’s for a lot of R&R. Wishing you and your family wonderful holiday xo

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