old country house blog

The JOY/GUILT of Doing Nothing.

In a Deep Deep sleep last night, I heard a little voice..
“Mom, Mom…I threw up. Don’t worry, I cleaned it up, I’m downstairs on the couch. You don’t need to get up.”
In a dream…I think I replied something like
“Okay, come get me if you need me…”
Then I lay there, and really woke up and thought..
“I gotta get down there…”
So, with my sweet sick girl, I was up all night. I don’t need to tell you what I did…
because if you are older that an infant, chances are…
you KNOW what I did.
Phoebe…from a photo session yesterday..on the way to a Super Bowl Party…
So today I feel like I have sand in my eyes. I slept in snippets on the sofa,
in a chair sitting up
I have NO appetite, partly because I just DON’T and partly because
I don’t want to give Mr Stomach Flu any ideas.
My daughter is still on the sofa but says she is a 3 out of 10, better from a 6
2 hours ago…1 is “all better”.
Our MOST favorite OLD show that we never watched when it was on
but are so addicted to now we feel like the cast are our neighbors…
“THE NEW Adventures of OLD Christine” is on, and there are 4 episodes in a row…
I lay all of this out for you because I have question…???
WHY – WHY when I have every excuse to take it easy…
WHY when I have NO energy, and am sleep deprived..
…and my daughter is pitiful on the sofa 5 feet from me…
WHY can I NOT enjoy this more?
WHY do I feel like I should be doing something?
Something “Productive”…
Painting…cleaning…getting something organized…
Vacuuming.
Why is it so DIFFICULT for me to just do NOTHING?
NO – Better yet…Why do I consider the Nursing of my child,
the resting of my old tired Body…
NOTHING?
*****************************************
The Good News is..
…that despite the fact that I am not totally
relaxed…
I am NOT giving in to what is probably ONE part genetic disposition
and ONE PART conditioning…
I am not giving into
The temptation to do any of the aforementioned busy work.
I am still COZY in my chair.
My show is on episode 3.
Phoebe is in a hot bath.
The sofa looks like it just came out of the dryer…
all tangled up and wrinkled…
and I have done nothing but photograph it….
 I am half way through the Day off
I Dream of getting….
Although I think in the dream I am on a beach, with a HOT beach body
and a COOL beach Pina Colada…
I will settle for a day with Julia and Phoebe and this wing back chair…
*****************************************
Addendum- at 2:00pm – I get up and go to Cooper’s School to teach my one hour after school advanced Photography class. I decided it was harder to get a sub than to just go over and teach  for an hour.
3:30 pm – As I am packing up to head home…I get a call from the High School, and my 9th grader, Tate,
is throwing up…
the beat goes on….2 down 3 to go.
This must be a bad one…Tate has successfully dodged the stomach flu since he was in the 2nd grade..
…I usually NEVER dodge it…
It is like standing in the middle of the road…just waiting for the bus,
which you KNOW is coming…to hit you.
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2 thoughts on “The JOY/GUILT of Doing Nothing.

  1. Sorry to hear that every one is sick over there. I do understand about not being able to sit still when you are used to “doing”. For the last year we have been gutting and putting back together our home, “doing ontop of doing” Now that we are mostly done, I’m having a hard time not “doing”! Get well to your kids and stay well to you….
    dee dee

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