old country house blog

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY…

coopsmomphdMother’s day is my favorite day..and today was no exception. No time to blog but I want to share a piece I wrote a while back …

………………………………………..

When I had my firstborn child…
I vividly remember thinking…
“OMG I had NO idea what being BUSY was before I had a BABY!!!
And I even took care of newborn babies as a Nurse!”

back in the early days…When it took two and a bad hair clip…to change a diaper…

Then, when I had my Second child… I thought…

“I cannot believe I thought it was HARD with ONE baby…!!!
Parenting one perfect little baby was a cake walk compared to juggling babies!”

 

A few years later, I had my Third baby…
THREE under FOUR…
 ” TWO was a breeze!!!
… two parents, two babies…
now I have an odd number and not enough hands….
 THIS is HARD!”

Then  the babies ventured into the world…
Preschool…
and sometimes tiny hearts got broken when
feelings got hurt at school…
and I sighed…
“It was so easy when all I had to do was snuggle them,
…pop them on my hip, or on a boob
or kiss their boo boos to make it all better.”
And then they started BIG school and they would be gone ALL day
and I would wonder why I still could not EVER
 get caught up…even with them gone…
….their rooms, my work, their stuff,  their appetites and hobbies
…kept me running even when they were nowhere near me.
…and I thought
” it was SO easy when they were just in the next room,
and all they wanted was a juice box and to play with some legos.”
And then…
I had a teenager…
and I thought.
“You are Not a Mother, NOT a REAL mother,
until for even one fleeting portion of a second, you really do not like your child very much.   You wonder how everyone else looks  like they are managing this passage so much better than you are and you stop talking to your friends because it is not as much fun to talk about your kids now… what they do and say is not always so cute…or even repeatable…
You wonder…”What has become of me and my precious baby.”
You get better at it,
and you start to see it for what it is…which is NOT about YOU
 and then you have a moment
or a day
or even a forever,
of living with a person,
who Is actually WHO YOU want to be when YOU grow up.
….Poised and smart and funny and kind and
Passionate
 about life and whatever it is they are in LOVE with.
You GET IT! You see it.
…….and ……..

 PANIC sets in when you glance at the clock and realize that while you have been rushing and cleaning and scolding and making chore charts and Birthday cupcakes….
while you have been trying to finish a sentence or a book or a thought…
THEY have hatched and are peeking over the edge of the nest, ready to jump, ready to GO!
and you simultaneously go through all the the 5 or was it 7? steps of grief and promise to pay attention if it would all just SLOW down long enough for you to commit to memory every inch of who they have become.
Or make a hologram of them.
This is where I am…
….and I realize that every inch of the journey is important..
.and that you do not know what you do not know and THAT is a blessing.
No need to read ahead.
Be where you ARE
Don’t jump ahead…
Love the baby front of you.
The baby that lives with YOU.
NOW.
because
EVERYONE EVERYONE
grows up.

…I LOVE being their Mom.

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6 thoughts on “HAPPY MOTHERS DAY…

  1. So beautifully written and, oh so true. But I am here to tell you that my only child is now a 25 year old grown up woman and, surprisingly, we survived those horrible years between 18 and 23 or 24. At some point, if you have done your job right, they do become the person you were hoping they would become. We laugh at how we have become that nerdy mother/daughter duo who claim to be best friends…we really are and I love every minute of it. So hang in there…those three beautiful babies will be back at the nest and you will be asking your husband if they are EVER going to not need you (and as moms, let’s hope not!)

  2. How beautiful and true your words are! My girls are right about your children’s ages and you articulated perfectly what I am feeling! My oldest is graduating 8th grade and headed to high school and I am having the hardest time accepting that in four very.short.years she will be taking that leap out of my nest…..it’s really bittersweet because I am so proud of the human she is becoming and know full well that she is ready to fly!
    Happy Mother’s Day to you!
    xo~Jill

  3. Just recently started reading your blog. Love it! And I love this – it is beautifully written and so true. My oldest is about to graduate from high school & head off to college in the Fall. The hatching & peering over the edge of the nest about to jump is here. My middle is also starting high school in the Fall and my youngest starts kindergarten. It is the year of transitions at our house. And I do feel like I am grieving. I don’t want to grieve – I want to be happy for each new phase. And I know I will be – I will get there. But in the meantime, I get wistful and want to beg the days to slow down… Thanks for writing this.

  4. So true!! I had twin girls and then another girl 14 months later. Those early years were obviously crazy with three kids basically the same age – I barely have time to think! Now that the twins are 16 and my youngest is 15, and I realize how close they are to adulthood – sometimes I feel like I can’t even believe it. It has been fantastic being a mom to them and I have loved every minute and every stage/age. I want to savor every last moment with them 🙂
    I love reading your blog – your home is gorg!

  5. Hi, this is the first time I’ve ever replied to a blog. I was researching renovating a chair when I came across it. I have just had a very silly falling out with my youngest daughter of three – 17 yrs – (nothing serious) and I am feeling a bit sad. Your lovely words are SO true, they grow up too quickly and then you just have to let them make their own footprints in the sand, they get too big to carry forever, her Head Teacher once told me I loved my child too much but if she is right I don’t regret a second of being a mum, the painful moments are by far out weighed by the wonderful ones, – like when they are mums themselves and they say, mum you were right !, God bless you and by the way your home is lovely.

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